The job hunt begins...

So, I've started looking for a job. To sum it up, the market is slim pickins, chickens.

So far, most positions have been waaaaaay far away. Kentucky. Texas. Connecticut. Yeeesh.
In an ideal world...well, in an ideal world I wouldn't be job searching. But, in an ideal world in which I have to job hunt, I would be able to find something nearby. It's funny, prior to this whole business, my husband and I used to look up exotic sounding places and dream of moving away from where we grew up. "Oooh, how about Vermont? That sounds lovely," and so on.  I'd play on Sperling's Best Places and look at real estate. Now that things are getting real, the idea doesn't seem so fun anymore. I'm doing the mental equivalent of laying down in front of traffic and crying, "Puhlease let me staaaaaaay!"

The fam is here. The husband's fam is here. Friends are here. House is here. The life we built is here. Stupidly, just a week or so before this happened, I made an offhand comment to my husband,"Maybe a job cut wouldn't be bad. It would force us to have an adventure," and then I laughed a flighty little laugh. Oh, what a lark being unemployed would be! Until you're unemployed. Man, be careful what you wish for. Seriously. 

I applied for a few positions already, didn't make the cut for a few already, too. I'm really going to have to think about my cover letter, and how to apply for jobs that I don't quite fit into on paper but I know I'm capable of doing. I'm tech-saavy but something about "K-3 Librarian" doesn't exactly inspire confidence for an academic position labeled "Instructional Materials Design Specialist". And yet, I think the skills could be transferable. The trick is making the hiring committee think so, too...and beat out the qualified competition. Tall order.

So, as I write, I keep Googling and Monster-ing and CareerBuilder-ing and praying for some miracle job to appear...preferably in a school. Preferably in a commutable distance. Again, tall order.

However, to be fair..I have to chill out. And remind myself...it hasn't even been a week yet. Yes, yes, I know, I'm being a little hyper-paranoid. I like to have a plan...and when I don't, overdrive kicks in--my omg-its-3am-I-have-to-change-the-wording-on-my-resume-right-NOW-and-then-since-I'm-up-I-might-as-well-search-for-anything-new-that-could-have-been-posted-between-11pm-and-now-I-hope-its-OK-that-my-resume-paper-is-ivory-and-the-envelope-is-white-should-I-have-handwritten-the-address-I-should-have-typed-it-oh-god-the-world-is-ending and on and on and on. But, in my defense, it feels like forever since that bomb dropped, even if in reality it's only been about 6 days.

The kids at school know something is wrong...or I'm extra-sensitive to their sweetness knowing it might be gone next year. They've been really huggy and clingy lately...not that my little ones don't love a good snuggle on the regular...it just feels different.
Today, a little guy in 2nd hugged me supertight and said, "You're the bestest library teacher in the whole world." True story. If that's not a punch to the heart when you know it might be the end, well, I don't know what is.

The grownups are acting strange, too. There's a weird combo of shock, hurt, anger...denial. BIG time denial. Many people keep assuring me: This won't stick. Things will work out. There's no way you're really gone next year. Others are mad as hell. Others are feeling hopeless. There's lots of talk about the future...and it doesn't look bright.

One of the best, and nicest parts of all this (hey, I'm trying to catch that silver lining) is the crazy outpouring of love. So many coworkers and parents have stopped me and told me how much they appreciate what I do...how they'll miss me...how it's not right...how I'm the best. All these nice words could go to a girl's head, you know what I mean? Maybe things will change. Maybe the community will rally and all this love and support will turn the tide. Maybe not.

Either way, everything is so up in the air. That is just not a nice place to be,especially for Little Miss Type A like myself. So, I'm sending out another application tomorrow....and looking at new towns and real estate...and hoping I don't really need to go any farther than that, in the end.